6 Powerful Truths You Need to Know About Forgiveness {LTR #4}

{Day #4 of the Let’s Talk Relationships series}

Shannon is a joy of a friend. She is honest & bold, genuine & encouraging. She understands brokenness, because she’s been in the trenches. And you know what? She came out on top because of Jesus in her heart. It’s an honor to share her story on the blog today. She’s writing about 6 powerful truths you need to know about forgiveness. Welcome, Shannon!


After he left, I went to our bed and curled up into a fetal position. He didn’t tell me, but I knew where he had gone. I spent the next several hours wondering how I had gotten here.

After 15 years of marriage, how did we get to the point of divorce? It’s something I never envisioned happening to us. Yet just like a F5 tornado, here we were, in the throes of loss and devastation. We were both covered in dirt and debris and the only hope for restoration was fully surrendering to our Savior.

Just 24 hours earlier I told him about the affair I was having with another man. I was deep in sin and I was sinking fast. I had every intention of leaving my husband and had God not intervened who knows where we would be today.

Have you ever been hurt, wounded, wronged? Are you wondering how you'll ever be able to forgive and move on? Here are 6 powerful truths about forgiveness. || This post is part of a one-month series called "Let's Talk Relationships!" Join us!

He was gone for several hours. He had been discussing the next steps and his probable future with an attorney. He had no idea what was going to happen but he wanted to be prepared for the worst.

My head was spinning and I was so messed up. I had lost 30 pounds in the course of 3 months. I had fallen into the trenches of deep sin where the fire does not go out and the worms never die.

And I was circling the drain.

When I saw his car pull in the driveway I quickly ran to the door, waiting. I didn’t know how he would react or what he would say, I just wanted to be in his arms. When he walked in I moved toward him and he pulled me close. Just as we’d done our entire marriage, I burrowed my head into his chest and he enveloped his strong arms around me.

“I love you John.”

“I love you too, honey.”

And in that moment John made the choice to forgive. He had every reason to leave me. Every reason in the world. Yet, he didn’t.

Insert God.

Eventually God restored our marriage, but it took several years. Several very hard and painful years. Anytime you restore a piece of furniture it takes several steps. If you skip a step it won’t be restored correctly. The same is true in marriage. Each step much be taken very carefully and cannot be rushed.

God saved my marriage, and He can do the same for you. No matter what is going on in your marriage, God CAN intervene if you let Him. I don’t care what anyone tells you. Your marriage CAN be saved.

Because God is no respecter of persons. What He did for me He can do for you.

Forgiveness is not easy.

Our ultimate example of forgiveness is Jesus Christ, right? He was whipped. He was beaten. He was ripped and torn to shreds. {literally} Yet He asked God to forgive his tormenters anyway.

Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. Luke 23:34 Click To Tweet

Can I be real with you for a minute? We can talk all day long about how Christ forgave and how we should forgive too. And WE CAN, because all things are possible with God!

But it doesn’t mean that it’s easy.

Forgiveness is HARD. And sometimes it doesn’t matter how much we know about Jesus or the Bible, sometimes we just don’t want to, do we?

But we must.

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15

Let me encourage you. If you choose to do the hard things, you will reap tremendously.

“Be strong, take heart for payday is coming!” 2 Chronicles 15:7

I will tell you that it might be easier to just give up. You will be tempted to do so. But if you can learn to genuinely forgive your spouse, you will experience a freedom you’ve never had and your marriage can be better than it was to begin with.

There are some truths that you really must know about forgiveness. Take it from someone who has been there - someone has lived from the trenches and experienced forgiveness in real & powerful ways. Here are 6 truths you need to know about forgiveness. || This post is part of a one-month long series called "Let's Talk Relationships." Join us!


Here are 6 powerful truths you need to know about forgiveness:

Forgiveness is a choice.

It’s a decision. When you choose to forgive, restoration begins. This doesn’t mean that all will be fixed. It just means that you’re willing to forgive and start working through the pain and hurt. John made the decision to forgive that day when he came home and it was the most important decision that he made.

Forgiveness takes time.

Don’t rush the process of forgiveness. It is not a single act. Forgiveness is a process. It takes time for the heart to fully process the decision to forgive and we must give ourselves the grace that healing requires. The old cliché rings so true here: take one day at a time.

Just because you forgive, it doesn’t mean you are a doormat.

Strong people forgive. Weak people don’t. John forgave me, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t angry. Oh, he was angry alright. And I had to build that trust back. This was grueling at times and there were hard consequences.

Talk it out.

Communicate. Ask and answer questions. When infidelity strikes a marriage the victim has questions that the betrayer would probably rather not answer or even talk about. I am in no way a professional, I am just speaking from experience. In order for John to receive closure, he had questions that needed to be answered. Questions about my relationship with the other man. Questions I didn’t want to answer. This may have been one of the hardest aspects of restoration. I wanted to erase things from my mind. Those same things John needed answers for.

Honesty and grace was the key here, and openness was vital for survival.

Be vulnerable.

Create safety in your marriage. You should be able to go to your spouse with ANYTHING. This creates a chance for your spouse to know who you really are and feel the privilege of seeing the wholeness that you are strong and weak. This breeds trust. Genuine trust like this in marriage is everything.

Release the hurt.

Release the pain and hurt into the hands of God. Authentic forgiveness takes place when this happens. When we anchor our hearts in the hands of almighty God, it’s like a switch gets flipped. We can release the pain. Grace takes place and it shatters all bitterness.

Friend, I don’t know where you’re at in this process. Maybe you are on the verge of divorce due to betrayal. Can I just tell you to hang on? Will you hang on? Fully surrender yourself to God. Cry out to him. He’s there. Even if you do not feel Him.

Will you agree in prayer with me right now?

“Father, I ask you to please touch my friend. I ask that you wrap your arms around them. Let them feel your presence. Let them feel your touch. I ask that peace that surpasses all understanding sweep over them. Intervene in this situation. Let healing be done. We agree together in your name and know that your will WILL be done. Amen.”

Shannon is fun-loving and authentic. She loves big and she loves fierce. At the top of that love list is Jesus, her husband John and her two daughters, Alex and Averee. She’s a woman who has been rescued and restored. She believes every woman has a calling and Shannon has a passion to see women everywhere rise up into who God has designed them to be. Although a book is in her future, you can currently read her blog at www.shannongeurin.com.


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12 thoughts on “6 Powerful Truths You Need to Know About Forgiveness {LTR #4}

  1. What a great post on forgiveness, Shannon, and Alison!
    These practical steps are so good!
    I think the hardest part is to truly release it all – to give it over the Lord completely!
    Appreciate this post today!

  2. If the spouse that betrayed isn’t willing to do the hard work of working on the marriage and rebuilding trust, demands a divorce and hires a lawyer, there isn’t much I could do…..sadly.
    It’s been 4+ years since the divorce. Still haven’t recovered.

    1. Ann, I don’t know your situation and I do not know your story but can I just tell you; God has a plan for your life! And He loves you I relentlessly. I am so sorry for all you’ve gone through and are still going through and I pray for the peace of God to just completely surround you right now, wherever you are and that you would feel His arms around you and the love he has for you would just overwhelm you!!

    2. Ann, thanks for commenting here and sharing a piece of your heart. I am writing this reply with a prayer for peace. It sounds so minor to us on earth, because we seek the comfort of answers and mended relationships, but God often gives us the gift of His peace instead. It’s our sweet hope & great assurance. I pray that you will find comfort in the great gift of His peace. Praying for you, sister. <3

      1. Thank you so very much. I’ve been praying for contentment in my single(again)ness. My hearts desire is to be married for as long as I can remember. It’s a true blessing I didn’t know 4 years ago I’d still be alone with no prospect in sight. I believe the feelings of rejection continue to grow in my heart, in spite of knowing God loves and accepts me.
        Again, I appreciate your prayer. ♡

        1. God has purpose and plan for your life. As a woman that can relate to Shannon’s story, I committed adultery as well. It was a long road of destruction for me until God took me on Demascus Road experience. God has transformed me and truly made me a new creature. Your husband will forever be your covenant husband. If you haven’t already ask God what he wants you to do, if he wants you to trust him to bring you husband back, no matter how crazy it sounds, do it!! Pray for your husband, his salvation, his heart, and spirit. Ask God to give you the strength! Although my husband has filed for divorce, I am still standing and beliving God for the restoration of our marriage because I believe God’s Word when it says that He can do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can ask. God gives an out for marriage with infidelity but He also honors a person who is standing for marriage and believing him to make things new. The road is not easy but there is always purpose in the pain, a testimony from the test, and an abundant life when you choose Christ over the pain. God loves you and He will give you the desire of your heart but you have to seek Him continually in prayer and in His Word. If you need a prayer partner or someone to talk to I am available, contact me at themrsmannie@gmail.com. God Bless!

          1. “The road is not easy but there is always purpose in the pain…” AMEN! Thanks for sharing, Ty!

  3. Shannon, Each time I read your story it melts my heart. Your humble repentance and John’s humble forgiveness and inspiring. Thank you for openly sharing your story. My story of being curled up in the fetal position is over a child not my spouse, but I feel your anguish and sense of fear. Thank you for giving us hope. Healing and restoration are possibilities with God’s miraculous love. Blessings my friend!

  4. Shannon,
    Forgiveness isn’t easy. Healing isn’t easy. But it IS possible! Your story gives testimony to that truth! I’m praying those stuck in this place of brokenness and unforgiveness read this and that God plants that seed of hope in their spirits!
    Love you, friend!!


  5. Great job sistas! Love how God takes our brokenness and restores! Thank you for being real and vulnerable. Blessings!

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